Love revisited

'What is happening to me? This is not right.' It was well past 2 o' clock early morning and even the yelling stray dogs around the street corner had decided to cozy themselves up in the dirty rags of the overflowing garbage bins. But Badrinatha's mind refused to rest - and it was not the first such night. His entry-level mobile had a photo of a lady, the image was blurred. But Badri did not take his eyes off it. He was not able to.

He had met Priyanka madam for the first time three months back, within a week of landing in Bangalore. Badri came from a coastal town on the other side of the Western Ghats where he was used only to the crisscrossing breezes from the land and the sea. The December chillness of the city was adding some kind of uneasiness to his body and thoughts. 'Who decides right or not?' He had lived his entire life of two decades in and around his native town and only recently he had joined one of the important branches of that leading private bank (not the one with many Is and Cs) in the heart of Bangalore. Badri was an office boy aka peon, not a manager or an executive. And he was not even on the payrolls of the bank, as just like many other companies the bank too had deployed outsourced office boys for all its branches all over the country. The staffing company had conducted mass recruitment drives in many of the Tier-II cities in south India, and Mangalore was one such place. M.Badrinatha had three siblings, and as a stereotyped poor family, all of them were girls - two elder and one younger. The sad part did not end there - his father's death some time back added an extreme dose of pathos to the family. The cocktail of poverty, three unmarried sisters and the departed father foreclosed Badri's dream of pursuing a higher studies in hotel management. But luckily for the family the staffing MNC had camped in Mangalore. Thanks to the shining India. The B.A. graduate from a small town ended up as one more headcount in that mega HR company during the recruitment drive. Badri's mother was thrilled to see her son getting appointed in a big company in Bangalore. The promised monthly take home was Rs.12,575/-. 'Take care ma, I will talk to you daily. Bye Rekha, Hema, Savithri..!' With a broken heart, but full of hope of a bright life, Badri had set out his journey to Bangalore with the usual mother-made pickles and assorted ready-mix powders in his old Aristocrat briefcase; he also carried a family photo that dated to at least ten years back.

Love is said to strike instantaneously. In Badri's case it was so untrue. It was 9:15 in the morning of 8th September 2014, and Badri reported for work at the MG Road branch. Along with Badri the company had recruited 174 other graduates from small towns. All of them had reported in Bangalore on the first day of September. Over the next five days the entire batch of new recruits were - made to complete their joining formalities, given certain basic behavioral and communication training, evaluated after the training and assigned appropriate client based on the results. While the average ones, in terms of pleasing demeanor, dressing sense and the looks, were sent to various government departments and state-run PSUs, the smart-looking lads with a slightly better shade of communication skills were sent to the best of corporate clients like the private sector bank were Badri landed. Office timings: 9:15 AM to 6:00 PM. Weekly off and other holidays: as per the bank's policy. Uniform: Checked sky blue shirt with a pair of navy blue trousers. Job profile: To assist the zonal manager with the entire spectrum of errands from fetching a cup of coffee from the vending machine to attending to the mobile phones as and when asked to.

Badrinatha was exploding with excitement, 'Yes ma, today was the first day at work!'. The networks took his voice across the mountains to his mother, who was equally excited. 'It is comfortable, the bank office has full AC... Bisleri water for everyone..free tea and coffee.. I have blue and blue uniform.. the company provides it. I have three friends here from my company. Telephone is free ..I can give a call to anyone in Bangalore...it will not be charged..' 'Take care of your health Badri, wear sweaters...don't take too much pickle with food.' 'All four of us are staying in a nearby area..we start by 8:30 in the morning. The bank people are very strict about the office timings. Even one minute beyond 9:15..and they will report to my company. There are huge buildings on the way to my office. This Hemanth.. is from our area.. near Udupi. We are staying together.' 'Your sisters are missing you dear, they are managing all the household works. My knee joints are aching more these days...' 'There is a metro train line very close to my house ma, I will take you all when you come here. Take care of sisters.' The conversation between the mother and the son went something like that. Badri told his mother about everything from the exotic flowers of Lalbagh, to the statues of Sir Visvesvaraya and Queen Elizabeth, to the prevalence of other languages like Telugu, Tamil and the like in Bangalore, and to the spick and span toilets of the bank. But he did not tell her about one thing. But it was quite natural. Priyanka madam.

Within the first one hour of reporting at the bank, Badri was assigned to her. 'Good morning madam.' 'OK, I will call you.' She was busy with her iPad. Soon the tiny red light outside her cabin turned on. It meant Badri was being called in. It was the second time he saw her; not the first time. He did not feel butterflies in his stomach. But when you dive into the river from the height of a cliff your heart is filled with a rainbow of themes like fear, thrill, craziness, freedom, adventure, pride, you feel you are supreme, you feel you are at the top of the world though you are actually falling freely, your body piercing the air and the cool wind hitting your face with an increasing vigour, the dark and inviting waters of the river getting closer and closer and very soon that exuberance, that bliss, that nirvana you experience the very moment when your downward stretched arms just touch the icy chill water and instantaneously your head, torso and then the entire body plunges into the deep, dark waters full of life and you keep gliding inside the water like an arrow without any effort whatsoever, again like a free fall from a mountaintop filled with thrill and freedom, but no thoughts, just a blank mind. Badri felt the same when he saw his boss, Ms.Priyanka Krishna, for the second time. 'Hellooo... can you get these things photocopied quickly..' Yes madam!' 'Dumb fellow.'

Piyanka was by no standards attractive, but no one can deny she was something more than just 'beautiful'. A mystic beauty? Perhaps it was the charm, or the peculiar, tasteful way she smiles. Perhaps it was something that could only be seen and experienced. Perhaps she had a very down-to-earth beauty to her; it was that kind of beauty that was not dangerous, generally. The first time Badri met her she was in a pair of simple, dignified, cotton salwars. The small black bindi on her forehead gave her a perceptible sense of completion. It is not very sure what exactly pulled Badri towards her. But there he fell; the very first day; the very second sight. Priyanka's parents had got her married off when she was twenty four, it was sixteen years ago. Both her sons were in higher classes of one of those reputed convents in the city. Their father, Dr.Krishna, was a reclusive professor at the IIM, Bangalore, researching on something exotic falling under the broad umbrella of microeconomics. But the central point was Priyanka did not look like someone who had lived on this planet for forty years; her charm and the aura of dignity and elegance that was always like a halo around her, easily made people believe she was hardly thirty years of age. 'She should be 34 or 32.. so what even if it is 15 or even 55?', Badri told himself.

A month passed. 'Badri do you support your family?' 'Yes madam. I sent Rs.6500 yesterday..through a friend.' 'That's nice! Such a small boy you are ..and you are supporting the entire family... do you like Bangalore?' 'Madam the place is good but very costly... But I miss my family. I talk to my sisters often. I have promised to buy them a mobile phone. They also want to study further..' 'Work hard. You are very sincere. You will come up in life.' 'Thank you madam', Badri left the freshly-filled coffee cup on Priyanka's desk. 'Is it not cheating? Backstabbing? I am cheap..This lady is so concerned about me..but me.. my stupid mind ..this is wrong..'. As he left Priyanka's cabin with the empty tray in his hands, his heart beat grew louder - almost to the point of becoming audible to the customers seated in the longue.

Second month. '...our world was limited to our village and occasionally Mangalore madam... But our father used to take us to all the nearby temples.. and the village fairs. Madam, everyone liked him.' 'Your innocence..it is very ..no, it is impossible to find boys like you here.', Priyanka was handing over a couple of files to Badri, when the tip of her tiny finger touched Badri for a moment. His cousins living in the coastal villages had told him about the stingray, its sharp venom and the unbearable pain it inflicted, but it also gave the victim a type of high not given even by desi liquor. Badri was reminded of that. But this time he felt a thousand butterflies in his tummy that was already filled with the nearby Sagar's masala dosai and sweet sambhar. 'This is...just an accidental touch with her ...golden finger...delicate lotus petal-like finger...but what an effect! And how beautiful she looked today.. that pure pearl necklace hugging her slender neck..and.. the most charming smile I have seen in my life. The way her cheeks turn red like a red rose, like sapphire.. no ruby stones, when she laughs, blushes.. her husband.. that Krishna guy is very lucky. . boring professor...I wish...No.. stop that fool.' Badri was not able to sleep that night. He had a quick talk with her mother before switching off the lights. He closed his eyes, but his mind wandered. He closed the eyes tightly, his mind picked up many strange and ugly things while wandering. He was awake till 2:45 AM. The next morning he did not remember when he fell asleep. The last song he remembered hearing on the FM was 'Ee Sundara..' from Amrutha Varshini. The lines he remembered roughly translated as '...every day, every moment, you made me dance to your song..'

Third month. It was an office picnic in one of those fancy resorts in the city outskirts. The family members were also invited for the outing. Even the peons on contract were asked to be a part of the fun. The IIM-Professor was not present, but Priyanka had got her sons for the get-together. They were lovely boys. 'Please have this..', Badri offered them two 5 Stars bars, while smiling at Priyanka. The kids indifferently grabbed the bar and moved in the direction of the video game parlour. 'Madam..sir?' 'He is in Indonesia, some presentation, research..we miss him' 'That's sad madam.. I hope we will have another picnic soon and he can come for that', Badri told Priyanka while feeling immensely happy from deep within. 'Thank God! The old man did not turn up.. I hate to even see his face. I love Indonesia!' Soon Priyanka too joined her sons, then she was seen hanging out with her colleagues. Badri just could not take his eyes. For a brief period she was out of his sight. Badri felt terrible. Very soon, his heart told him she was near the buffet area. He went there and she was indeed there. He kept looking at her; her beauty was increasing with every passing day. She was just dazzling in her pair of dark jeans and a printed top. Badri did not even try to look elsewhere; he was just staring at her. Suddenly, to his utter shock Priyanka turned towards him. Badri felt his heart jump into his throat. 'Oh! I am badly caught.. no way.. she will not have a clue..' 'Can you come and click us..', Priyanka handed over her mobile. 'Y..yes madam.' Priyanka was with her old-time friends. They were a joyful lot. One of them too gave her mobile to Badri. Soon after some group shots they dispersed, loudly. Badri did not know from where he got the courage. 'Madam...', he collected himself, '.. can I take one photo?' It was only a few moments before she replied, but those moments were like hell for Badri. 'I am sure she will scold me.. she might ask me to even leave the company.. please..please..' 'Hey, sure!'. And since the picnic day Badri spent hours on his mobile every night; looking at the blurred photo of Priyanka.

'What is happening with me? This is not right.' It was well past 2 o' clock in the morning. 'But who defines what is right? God has not given any rules...only the society.. the humans have created rules. God's only rule is do not kill anyone..nothing more. This is not very unusual for a man. . How to control.. forget it..why the hell to control..?' Badri's mind was a hurricane in itself. The same set of questions and reassuring answers kept going rounds, night after night. The hurricane tormented him. The sleepless eyes begged for some sleep, night after night. 'She is so nice to me.. So what..I am not cheating her.. I am only .. it is OK..the two boys.. So..? This is just my feeling...you have only one life..' He just did not know what was happening. 'Why do you trouble me.. why did I come to Bangalore, darling?', he asked kissing the photo, with some element of guilt and lots of pleasure. Then something happened to him. He quickly texted to Priyanka, 'I love you madam'.

Krishna and Priyanka had a rule: Mobile phones were banned in the bedroom. During the nights the phones were usually left charging on the book rack near the dining table. It had become a habit for the couple.

But that particular night, at around 3:30 AM, a low 'Beep-beep' SMS tone came from somewhere under a pillow. It was Priyanka's pillow.