Rearview 2016

Twenty sixteen takeaways.

1_Cockroaches, move on. Bed bugs are here to stay! Just awed by the unbelievable resilience of these tiny irritating creatures. The best weapon: Blue kerosene. The worst news: These buggers are, well, resilient. 

2_If a kid cries, the blame lies on the adults around her/him. Think about it.

3_Have been trying to type out 'Bureaucracy' without any spell check support. The failed attempts continue over the years. Who invented the word? Berocracy looks bad; but sounds just fine. Oxford guys, listening?

4_It hurts. Queuing (spell check done) in front of the ATMs for those old one hundred rupee currencies. Happy: My salon (barber shop, saloon) next door accepts Paytm. I got a neat hair cut; like a military man.

5_Air travel continues to be a nightmare. Security check, boarding pass, hand bag, ID card, cabin bag, restless queues, endless wait, regular delays, 20 Kg barrier, pain in the ears, troubled tummy, ticket printout, sleeplessness, insipid meals, odd packing hours, hell of a noise, mandatory hello-namaste-bye-bye-thanks at the flight gates, the snoring neighbour, the yelling baby, the thud while landing, dizziness before the take off, wallet-cellphone-boardingpass-specs-magazine-jacket-cabinbag-waterbottle-flight mode-gawd! Can you beat it?

6_Who said Schindler's List was boring? 

7_Most satisfying: growing lots of plants, and plucking the vegetables. Try it yourself. 

8_A cat that jumped off the seventh floor terrace - was already at its ninth life or perhaps, it did not know to differentiate between its head and the four soft feet during a free fall. Or perhaps, there was a gravity tunnel between the two towers. RIP. 

9_The best place to sit when you are travelling with two small and dynamatic kids - the driver's seat. No one is allowed to mess with you. You call it The Great Escape!

10_Being an expert at something ties you down. Try being a novice; pretend to be a school boy. The world is wide open. You will get many likes. The government should print more money and improve exports. We already have thirteen likes. We should print more dollars and improve imports. That starts with like seventeen likes.

11_Work-life balance is not a type of balance that you could probably locate in a physics lab.

12_Just do it! The best thing about procrastination (sounds odd, but it just means delaying things) is, it tastes better with time. I need to purchase a pair of brown, formal shoes. 

13_If you are married, and yet you manage to be ultra-fit with half-a-dozen packs, teenagers are still going to address you 'Uncle'. Be graceful. Even the U.S., a strong and extraordinary country, is called Uncle Sam; not as Sam Bro. 

14_It was a dull year for Hollywood. No Bond movie. No Sam Mendes. No DiCaprio. No bison meat. What the hell! But yes, there was a Star Wars; I think it's some 17th sequel or so.

​

15_Best multi-tasker - a working woman with kids. (All ladies, vote for me)

16_MJ is the God of dance and music videos. Late realisation. Better l.a.t.e. than never.

17_She will sweep you off your feet; you have intense emotional and physical outpouring; you can go on without any food for days together; and you feel hot. She is Ms.Food Poissone. She is fond of vegetarians too. The good part: Pretty much nothing. Endure. Whatever goes in, has to come out. (Newton's missed Law)

18_Put it on paper. It destuffs (new word?) the m i n d.

19_A dear friend recently told me the strongest bond on the planet is not the ionic bond, but the dad-daughter bond. Unfortunately, I can neither confirm nor deny that. 

20_I got to know a guy who has the contact number of a maaliswala in Marine Drive, Mumbai. So you just need to give him a call, to get a massage in Marine Drive.

21_When we meet someone, we try to dig in for the least common multiplier. Too much mathematics?

22_When a mental meets a master and says 'You are a mental', in psychology they called it projection. Depression is a baby cyclone gearing up to gobble you.

23_Travel, it opens up your mind. Just think about travel, it does that double effectively. 

We stop here. 

Terrace garden

 

Hampi

(Canon 600D with various lenses minus a tripod plus basic Picasa touches)

When the Boss is Wrong

When the Boss is Wrong: Making and Unmaking of the Leader Within You (Sibichen K. Mathew, Rupa Publications, 2015). There are not many books exclusively on the flaws and eccentricities of bosses; rarer are the instances where the author of such books turn out to be your real life bosses. I am one of the very few persons in the world that work under bosses who have published books on peculiarities and terrible working styles of bosses world over. It is interesting. Also, possibly I may be the first one to embark on the adventure of reviewing a book on bosses written by his own boss. 

As mentioned somewhere in the book, a more harmonious title of the book is 'Fifty Shades of Bosses'. Presented in fifty crisp chapters of 4-5 pages each, in a breezy style, the painstakingly created book is a treasure trove of anecdotes (my favourite: the legend of perumthachan), organisational studies, psychological theories and loads of real life examples. But the best part is its - packaging and delivery. The treatment is so deceptively light and fresh that you really don't realise you are being exposed to hardcore OD/HR stuff. The book makes you wise - even without your knowledge. To give you an idea, there are 143 numbered references/notes spread over online resources, management journals and gold standard books. It roughly translates to 2-3 citations per chapter. The author has presented a few exercises of self-evaluation too. But at the same time, the book is laced with a good dose of everyday office humour and engaging slices of work life. There is also a healthy sprinkling of enjoyable cartoons. Some of them are really funny. Well done cartoon team!

Each of the fifty chapters talks about one specific (generally negative or not so pleasant) trait of a boss. The  boss could be a manger, a college principal, a government officer, a shop floor supervisor, and the like. Very easily, this book could have been one more, mundane, on-your-face-OB book. But drawing from eclectic fields of study and his experience as a serving bureaucrat of 20+ years, the author, also an accomplished orator and writer, makes sure you turn the pages with a great deal of interest. There is never a moment of dullness. And the chapter titles are also amusing: Chapter 18: Why doesn't the boss smile? Chapter 41: The puppet has a long tenure. Chapter 45: Boss is from Mars; You are from Venus. 

You also gain a lot of jargon in terms of world-class studies, book titles, etc. as you flip the pages; you will find them handy during any discussion where it is about izzat ka sawal. (Though the author has tried to avoid anything that resembles a management jargon, a canny reader will be able to extract quite a few.) The book also includes interviews of business leaders like Kiran Mazumdar-Shaw, S.D.Shibulal, and others. But it would have been more insightful and complete with personal interviews of civil servants or army officers too. It will add to the richness of the book. In pipeline for the second edition?

The high point of the book is the concluding paras of each of the fifty chapters. All the chapters close with specific takeaways grouped under three themes: Prescription for you, the boss; Precaution for you; Precept for the organisation. These are gems. Very practical. They serve as compasses of self-reflection. They also help us advance through the organisational maze smoothly, and without losing dignity.

When the Boss is Wrong is a cleverly crafted book that anyone, even remotely connected with any organisation, can enjoy reading. The book will also make us wiser when dealing with complex men (and women) we encounter in our workplaces. Organisations too have a lot to benefit from the book. Happy reading!

***

Other recent books: The Long Catch: War, Captivity and Return in Sri Lanka (Commodore Ajith Boyagoda - Sunila Galappatti, Harper Collins, 2016) and Hangman's Journal (Sashi Warrier, Penguin Books, 2009). 

Everything is in a name

If you split my life into two halves on the basis of my stay at a place, the story ends this year. While the second half is spread over various villages, towns, and cities across states spanning the prime directions of the vast spread of the country, the initial half is only about my hometown. The years of birth and growth. Depending upon the person, setting and status, in any interaction sooner or later, you are asked: 'Where are you from?', as in 'What is your hometown?' And the answer is easy if you were from any of the metros or other popular destinations like Darjeeling or Timbaktu. You could just say that; and the conversation moves on to the next Q&A. But when you are from the place where I am from, you think for a moment, you take some time to give a reply.

Though it is one of the questions that is as factual as fact can get, still a few seconds are a necessity to phrase my reply. That has been the case for the many, many years. Especially, when the other person is from any of the far away places like Delhi or Dimapur, you really try hard to provide an answer that is not going to invite any confused looks, or any answer that is not going to cause you any embarrassment of repeating the name over and over, or explaining the way it is supposed to be pronounced and avoid getting irritated. And an answer that is going to directly take both of you to the next topic, and take forward the talk. So, I say, unconvincingly with a sense of despair, '..from near Kanyakumari..near Madurai...' 'I see, what else going on..', and the conversation continues. Instead of describing the location of my town on the map like I did, had I dared to give the precise reply, invariably I would have  invited any of these: 'What? Come again..' (with a naturally puzzled look), 'Oh.. I have heard of such a place..' (in a sympathetic tone), 'Yes, yes, it is the place with the tallest temple tower in South Asia.' (with an air of command, though it was plainly incorrect). Then I had to spend some precious minutes in explaining the history, demography, politics, science and technology, and socioeconomic attributes of my town. I also try to mention about the greatest personalities (including myself, yes) from my town, in case it rang a bell. And by the time I am done - the person is no longer there. 

It goes like this: It is one of the few districts, probably among the handful of districts of India that can boast of having everything - a mountain range, a naval base, a near-perennial river, an enviable wildlife sanctuary, a controversial nuclear plant, and also a decently long coastline. I also supplement with the etymology of my place's name, the deep-rooted mythology, the notorious 'violent' image of the district, the recent history spanning 230+ years including the importance of missionary schools and the district medical college hospital that caters to the post-mortem needs of every dead man and dead woman within a radius of 100 km. The highlight was always the revolutionary patriotism that troubled the British around the World War I years, and the unparalleled wheat halwa that is best when served hot. But again, depending on the mental makeup of the listener, I also cut out most of it, just telling myself, 'What is the point in saying all this to someone who thinks even a Mallu is a Madrasi..?' Just, 'Down south' would suffice for such people. Let them be deprived of the treasure of knowledge. There was also a bulky class of people who would not believe in 'dosai'; to them what mattered was 'dosa'. Yuck. I think you see my point; such friends need no real answer. The cocoon is not be disturbed. 

So, this time it was one more setting - a business couple from the very northern reaches of the country, well-educated, living in Bangalore. Well, education did not necessarily mean that they were taught where I was from. So, as a part of the usual routine: 'Where are you from?'. 'Hmm.. from near Kanyakumari..', they did not seem convinced, so I had to continue reluctantly in a manner that I expected would bore them to death, '...on the highway between Madurai and Kanyakumari'. Then something happened. You often hear of life changing experience, like those of the Olympic medal winners. But that moment I went through a life changing, life jolting experience. Firstly, the gentleman and also the lady, both were aware of the fact that my hometown existed on the map. I was clean bowled right in the first ball. To my utter joy they could even get the pronunciation right. And, more surprisingly - the lady's sister actually was living in my town. And it does not end there. My house is located in one of the corners of the town - and the sister lived within some 4 kms from my house. It was as close as it could get, unless my parents decide to rent our house to the sister. The sister was married to a family, a Tamil family, down there. It was so surreal. Here is someone, from a very far land, who did not just know my place, but even had a close relative actually living there. These people could pronounce the name right. The man was even familiar with the kind of place it was, and handed out a few interesting aspects about my town which even I was not aware of. I was surprised to know one of the business families there had renovated its kitchen at a cost of around Rs.30 lakhs. Anyway, dosai and idli aside, more than anything else, it was for the first time in about two decades I have come across someone with roots near the Indo-Pak border, who was aware of my place, and who also could pronounce the name correctly. If that was not a life changing experience, what else was? Finding Neverland? The experience made me reorient my conversation strategy.

The very next day. Usually you come across a 'new' person in your life, roughly once in 3-4 days, unless you are a politician or a pediatrician. It was one of those days, and it was one of those auto-pilot warm-up talks.

'Sir, where are you from?'

'Tirunelveli.'

Books from Lucknow

Every prof. enters the classroom with one motto - convince or confuse 

And the single motto in every participant's mind - confront or crouch

Here's a list of book titles picked up from the classes during my recent, four-week executive training at IIM-Lucknow, Uttar Pradesh, India.

Focus - Daniel Goleman

The Essentials - HBR

Nudge - Cass R. Sunstein

Principle-centred Leadership - Stephen Covey

The Bridge Across Forever - Richard Bach

Images of Organization - Gareth Morgan

In Search of Excellence - Robert H. Waterman Jr. and Tom Peters

The Opposable Mind - Roger Martin

Why Nations Fail - Daron Acemoğlu and James A. Robinson

The Lost Symbol - Dan Brown

The Secret - Rhonda Byrne

Fish! - Harry Paul, John Christensen, and Stephen C. Lundin

Where Have All the Leaders Gone - Catherine Whitney and Lee Iacocca

Predictably Irrational - Dan Ariely

The Art of Thinking Clearly - Rolf Dobelli

Sway - Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman

Modern Man in Search of a Soul - C.G.Jung

The Road Less Traveled - M. Scott Peck

Happy reading!

(End note: The handwritten pages are not from any of the books.)

Kabali

Most of us would have seen the famous The Invisible Gorilla video; it startlingly exposes the extent of influence of selective attention in our thought process. Simply put, when you keep looking for something keenly, you end up missing many other things, some of them significant too. So when a long-time Rajni fan enters the theatre he restlessly keeps looking for - style, punch dialog, trademark comedy, high voltage fights, etc., in short, the 5-songs 5-fights template of Rajni. And rightly so, as these are the very things that have defined the Super Star. But in the process, Kabali, a don's story told from the heart, is likely to be missed. (Has been missed). As I write this, in spite of my best attempts to insulate myself from the instant reviews across social media and smart phones, it is clear more and more seats are remaining vacant across the halls in Tamil Nadu and the erstwhile-AP running Kabali. It is unfortunate. (Blame also lies in the trailer that focused only on the action-part, with a special stress on Neruppu da!).

The movie has one of the best performances of Rajni in the recent times. And as a film, Kabali is a well-packaged drama that has a Tamil leader as the central character. The movie opens with a high level meeting of Malaysian cops about release of the Tamil don (leader) Kabali who had completed a 25-year sentence. Then the famously leaked release scene. Rajni sparkles as the old don, who blooms again on getting united with his family, and who dashingly reclaims his space from a menacing Chinese don. The first half is beautifully written and performed. The very first action block that ends with Rajni freeing a multi-coloured parrot from one of the cages in a pet shop - is just the dictionary meaning of style. Also the next one, where  in a ship-breaking yard, Kabali crushes a baddie with his black Merc. Classic instance of star power and style. Such seeming subtle stunts, as against the usual 1 Vs 100 Rajni-fights like in Sivaji (2007), purely bank on the star's screen presence - and they have in deed delivered. Soon after the release, and the following stunt, Kabali comes to his house. This is a a well-written, highly emotional sequence, where the don is seen missing his wife terribly. Rajni has pulled it off with a highly matured performance. You feel his pain. 

Intermittently, the Chinese gangster Tony Lee (Winston Chao) appears. Perhaps, this character is the weakest link in the movie. More than a dreaded evil, Tony looks like a cross between a caricature and cartoon. Tony deserved more depth, better style, and definitely more brain. Veera (Kishore), a traitor-Tamil, is Tony's sidekick. Veera too deserved better dialogues, and more dignity. Nasser as Tamilnesan does justice to his limited footage in the flashback. Yes, the flashback sequence is going to be the most disappointing scenes for the fans, who were eagerly, and obviously looking for a Baasha-like (1995) experience. It is not going to happen anymore. Dot. But if you look at it, the flashback scenes are intelligently presented in the form of Kabali's answers to his students' queries. Perhaps, the makers were sure that it would be tough for us to endure the youth-look Rajni for 20 minutes at a stretch. (They were right). Here again, Rajni sparkles with exactly the right level of performance. The issues of Tamil labourers in Malaysia serves as the backdrop for the episode, in which a small-time leader transforms into a full-fledged don. Now comes the retrofitted ideology of the director, Pa.Ranjith. In  his earlier outing, Madras (2014), it was about the wall and who controlled it that symbolised social power; now it is a western attire. Nothing is left to imagination. Out of the blue, Kabali talks about why Gandhi shed his Western attire, and why Ambedkar was seen in suit and a tie.

In the middle of an action sequence where dozens of bullets keep flying in all directions, Kabali gets to know his daughter was alive, and that she was right there with him. Here again, the Super Star excels as an actor. You got to give it to him. Dhansika (as Yogi) as the daughter has carried out her task well. More emotionally loaded is the sequence wherein Kabali goes in search of his wife, finally lands up in Auroville and spends a night in the vicinity where presumably his wife was living right then. The entire block has been made from the heart, and it is just not possible to ignore Rajni's performance here. Radhika Apte (as Kumudhavalli) bowls us over with her acting. Very rarely, we have come across such genuinely emotional rides in a Rajni movie. Something last seen in Thalapathy (1991) perhaps, where Surya goes to see his mother.

The second half has good action, and for the old Rajni fans there is a lot in store in the climax sequence. (Lot of bullets, blood, etc. in the time-tested 1 Vs. 100 format). Strictly not for the kids and pregnant women! While the first half is about the old don finding his beliefs and roots, the second half is about his comeback and ascension with style. A few days back, this was my FB post:

"I think it is going to be Option (4) for Kabali. *** Endings for a don movie: (1) - The don gets killed - Nayagan, Thalapahty. (2) -The don forgives the villain and continues with his normal way of life - Baasha. (3)- The don fades into oblivion, and dies as a loner - The Godfather III. (4)- The don dies a natural, near-happy death - The Godfather. "

The end lies somewhere in between. It appears so.

Rajni has carried the movie on his shoulders with inimitable elan. But not in his usual form, but in a new, welcome avatar. Here is where the problem lies, possibly. But this is the only way forward for the Star. Next may be a family drama, or a powerful role for 30-40 minutes in  movie with someone else as the hero. But from the script perspective, the main issue lies with what looks like a forced insertion of caste colours in the story. What was projected as a fight for Tamil labourers right to begin with, is all of a sudden revealed as a clash between the genes, groups and castes within the Tamils. And this is kind of awkward for the story, though immensely relevant for the society. Given this point of view, it is easy to appreciate why our man Tony was made to behave like a long-faced fool. Anthony (in Baasha) looked deadly, even without uttering a single word; and that amplified the strength of the hero, the Super Star. But here, Tony behaves like our next-door Tommy in spite of his indiscriminate killings and infatuation with bullets.

Rajni has tried to adapt himself to the changing times by going with a young director, much like I desired. A bold but inevitable move. Hats off! But if there is one man whom team Kabali has to thank next to the Super Star, it is definitely Santosh Narayanan, the music director. The songs are at the top of the all charts. The back ground score is melodious, mysterious, peppy, dazzling, and electrifying - all rolled into one. Music, in fact, is the soul of the movie.

Kabali will be remembered as one of the landmark movies of the Super Star.

Magilchi!

(I hope I have not missed any gorilla).

Divine inspiration

Achcham Yenbadhu Madamaiyada is one of the best albums by ARR in the recent history. And special credits to GVM for beautifully packaging the numbers - with a series of what seem to be shooting stills, self-indulgent photos from his personal album and video nuggets of the singers performing - and releasing them over a period of time right from the first month of the year. While the firstly launched single Thalli pogathey.. with all its beats and deep lyrics, is a high-voltage melody that is never going to truly leave you, the soulful rendition of Pavendhar Bharathidasan's Avalum naanum.. is bound to take you to a higher level of calm and is not generally advised after a good lunch. But the most interesting song, if it may be said so, is Rasaali.. And more than a song, with all its liberal adventure across the genres, it qualifies to be a fantastic medley (Ha! Don't throw stones at me). And the greatest and enjoyable medley till date.

But in spite of the best attempt at a dazzling musical collage for a bike journey by the leading pair, the moment I hear Rasaali, though the youthful Simbu and the simple Manjima flash in my mind, very soon I can only see, hear and think of - TMS. (With the occasional image of a chubby boy jumping around with a vel in his hand and crown over his head). Composed by Arunagirinadhar, a saint-poet, Thirupugazh is a collection of Tamil hymns in praise of God Murugan. And the popularity of one of the songs, Muthai tharu..., should have skyrocketed after TMS lent his voice for the verse in a movie about the poet that was released more than 50 years ago. Till this date, TMS' Muthai tharu.. reverberates from the old-fashioned loudspeakers throughout the days of Shasti even in the remotest villages of Tamil Nadu (Yes, I have not actually checked all the villages). And what a lyrics man! It is a real tongue-twister that takes support from the richness of the language. There have been many attempts at the song by different types of singers; and the genius violinist Kunakkudi Vaidyanthan too has rendered it. In a way, I am happy that ARR has got a Divine (Devotional?) inspiration for a GVM movie. Thirupugazh is getting more famous.

When Murugan, the second one of the Siva-Parvathi family, has a Kollywood duet number to his credit, can the elder one, God Pillayar be missed out? No. Our composers have maintained parity. I come from a school that is like a Hindu island amidst an ocean of Christian missionary schools run by different congregations like the CSI, Jesuits, etc. It means that in our school, we had prayers (mainly the Sanskrit ones) for every conceivable occasion: the commencement of the day-before the first bell of the day, the start of the day's classes in your classrooms, before breaking for lunch, just after the final bell of the day-end of classes, etc. One of my favourite Gods during those day was Pillayar a.k.a Ganesha, and it was mainly for the reason that he had the powers to grant what you wished for (Usually, 5-7 extra marks in Physics and some coconut-rich kolukattai). Mudaa-Karaatta slogam, from Ganesha Pancharatnam, extols the elephant-headed God and calls every one of us to surrender to Him. Though it was not frequently sung in my school, I have heard it sometime during the school days. Kollywood has paid its salutes to the elder brother in its 1990 Parthiban-starrer, Thalattu Padava. At the start of the song (the scene) the hero, a pious man, is seen singing Mudaa-Karaatta with folded arms and closed eyes, standing next to a black Ganesha idol resting under a tree. Just when he is about to start the third verse or so, the lady enters, takes it forward from where she snatched, sings the next verse for him and goes on to complete the hymn. Soon, overcome by inexplicable, romantic emotions, while maintaining the tune of Pancharatnam, she makes her own verses - and starts signing in praise of her man. Wow! And soon, Raja sir bowls us over with an interlude. Quickly, after some top angle and tracking shots, we see the pair in different costumes running up and down the green hills. Check it out, you will feel good.

Again, its Murugan's turn now. But it is awful this time around. Kanda Shasti Kavasam (the version by the Soolamangalam sisters) is one of the most famous devotional songs of the state; it is also one of the most popular Tamil hymns. Every living thing in the state would have heard the song (in praise of Murugan) at least once in its lifetime. It is like the filter coffee and idli-chutney. Omnipresent. May be omnipotent too. Composed by Deva, Kollywood's tribute to Shasti Kavasam was in the blockbuster Suriyan (1992). Getting inspiration (Divine) for a tune is one thing; but to know to make use of it in a somewhat dignified manner is something else. In this song from Suriyan, the legendary poet Vaali perhaps just forgot the source of the tune and went on to write a jolly, duet song, happily. The song starts with something like this: 

'The teenage, tender heart yearns for the bed..' 

And it is just the beginning. I hope (unlike I remember TMS on Rasaali), the young kids don't imagine of actress Roja while chanting Shasti Kavasam in the evenings. 

In Hari's Thaamirabharani (2007), singer L.R.Eswari's soulful Karpoora Nayagiye Kanagavalli... on Goddess Amman was picturised in his usual pace with lots of mass and colours, in short - like a kuthu paatu. Who comes up with such thoughts, of mixing kuthu paattu and Shasti Kavasm! The lead pair, surrounded by hundreds of group dancers (assembled like a TCS 5K run), dance wildly with a lot of facial and body expressions. The lady is clad in the basic essentials, while the hero has a touch of tradition. And true to Hari, there is technically no costume change, there is only change in colour of the costumes. You get to learn a lot form this song. Among other things, you will also understand how  to pack the maximum number of side artists in a duet song. I think there are around a million of them, easily. The cinematographer has made his own contribution by way of tilting the camera and creating a roller-coaster effect, and enveloping us in a spell of dizziness. Salutes to the dance master too - just checkout the hero around the 3rd minute (3:01 - 3:08) of the song. I just hope none of these images comes to you while you get to hear the devotional version next time. 

Back to ARR. There was a glimpse of a Divine inspiration in his May Madham (1994). Back then it was something fresh. Enjoyable. The embryo days of tradition meeting technology.

(c)The video songs presented here are purely for educative and reference purposes only; 

there are no other commercial motives.)

The study of a plant and sunshine

This time around the TN elections have been extra interesting, unlike the usual mechanical exercise of wiping out the ruling party and welcoming the opposition with a thumping majority. No landslide victory now. Though the predictions are tilted in favour the DMK-front, you just have to give a call to anyone in the state to be informed that it was a neck and neck fight. No one is talking about a chunk of 180 or 200 seats to a group, out of the total 234 seats. Looking at the narrow gap expected between the winner and the runner up (going by many exit surveys), it may also happen that the difference in the number of seats won by the two leading parties may reduce pretty low, perhaps to even single digit figures. Or what if the EVMs decide to play dice and throw up exactly the equal number of seats to the top two parties tomorrow? ADMK 116 seats; DMK 116 seats. 

It would be a state and country-wide amusement show, like a cricket world cup final match that results in a tie. Soon, the attention would be on the two assembly constituencies where the polling has been postponed by a week. The entire band of Delhi and Mumbai news channels, would camp in Aravakuruchi and Thanjavur till next Monday; all the leaders of both the parties would be made to round up every single eligible voter alive in these two places. (It is a different story that only because of extremely intensive campaigning by the parties, the ECI had postponed the polling in these two places). Perhaps the political parties might even assist terminal patients getting treated in the ICCUs to exercise their democratic right and bring them to the booths in the safety of 108 ambulances; Perhaps the parties might even resort to man-to-man marking, and the parties may allocate a dedicated party worker for every single eligible voter in the vicinity. And if both the parties do the same thing, every voter in these two constituencies would end up being stalked by two people in dhotis of two different border colours. Some of the voters may also start enjoying the limelight, the heightened attention. The entire country would be watching them, waiting for the suspense drama to unfold and more importantly, to conclude. Stress level of the party workers is bound to go up, and it may affect their normal lives. 

It is like one of those decider balls in a cricket match. The equation would be: the party that wins both the seats forms the new government. But - if the EVM decides to play dice one more time? What if each one wins just one seat? The result: ADMK 117 seats; DMK 117 seats. 

It has never happened in the history. In the past.

Soon there will be some sort of commotion, squabble, altercation, quarrel, fist fights, petrol bombs, and a degree of enjoyable suspense too, everywhere. The elections would turn into a case study in Indian democracy and hot topic for thesis students of psephology. And if even after the Governor's intervention the exact 50:50 ratio continues, there is no other way but for the ECI to announce elections afresh. Afresh! Yes, there seems to be no other provision in the Constitution, Supreme Court decisions, ECI Regulations, etc. to handle such dramatic possibilities. At least I am not aware of them. But are we really okay with fresh elections? I don't think so. It is a massive exercise that puts a lot of lives out of gear, especially the lives of all the state government functionaries and the common men and women dependent on them. Sample this - there is this old, widow waiting for the government to release her old age pension; it has been put on hold due to the elections; already a delay of more than a month; she is getting increasingly frustrated and helpless. And this - the schools, colleges, offices, teachers, police, and all other associated premises and people, are to be disturbed again; to be pulled out of their routine work and lives. And this - the election gossips and results forecast in the media, and among all of us would continue for some more weeks, without allowing us to focus on anything else, anything else seemingly more productive. And this - conducting elections in a free and fair manner is a costly job; it also takes really a lot of efforts. And finally this - one of my friends is said to have flown down from Honk Kong to cast his vote; I'm sorry, he has to come again. 

So what remedies we got? 

• Perhaps we may go in for a tie-breaker. A constituency may be chosen randomly and with maximum vigil a repoll may be conducted there. Whoever wins the seat, gets the mandate to form the new government. Or just to be sure, instead of in just one assembly seat, the exercise may be conducted in five randomly chosen seats. Randomisation exercise may be performed by a mainframe in IIT Chennai or in a karumaari amman temple by way of throwing 234 lots and picking five of them right in front of the deity's eyes.
• The winner may be decided on the vote share garnered by the two parties. Assuming, if even that is going to be equal at the state level, again the method of random seat selection may be  resorted to, and the vote share may be compared in those seats. 
• The parties may be asked to rule the state together for five years. God save us! Or one of them may be asked to rule for the initial 2.5 years, and the other one may be asked to follow. Or to give a level playing field, the government may be formed on a monthly basis, alternate parties. Can't you sense the odd-even formula staring at you?
• As it is the time of unified entrance exams, and rigorous selection processes even for the children, the winning candidates from both the parties may be administered some kind of a test (intelligence tests or aptitude tests or even blood tests), and the party that scores the highest may be allowed to form the government.
• The winning margins (number of votes) of the candidates belonging to the two parties may be summed up and the party with the more number of votes (winning margin) may be given the baton. It is simple maths; no statistics. So, it is safe.
• The top five leaders of the two parties may be invited for an open debate among them (on social and governance issues only), to be held before a 1000-strong crowd of school kids of Class XI and XII, picked from schools across all the 234 constituencies. Just immediately after the debate, like they do in some TV dance contests, the school children may be asked to register their votes. The party that finds favour with the kids gets to rule the state. Let them get a chance, I'm sure the kids will do a better job.
• Finally, and most importantly - the people may be asked to explain why they did it.

These are some of the indicative methods to avoid reelection and save the associated time, money and efforts; while some of the options may look like the cup of tea they serve in our trains, and a few others may incur the wrath of Constitutional luminaries - what is required is a new government without any more suspense. And it will be a bonus for the people if the government performs too.

But for all that you may know, tomorrow could be just one more day.

Back at BITS

I cannot write poems, else you would be in for a poem now. Recently I had been invited by the Director of BITS Pilani-Hyd campus, to be a part of the insti's program to felicitate its alum in civil services. Luckily, I could make it. During the function, just like the other bureaucrats of a feather I too was invited to take my seat on the dais. Yes, really. As I tried to take a good look at the auditorium seats, students and lights from the stage, nothing that was actually there entered my mind - I could only see myself, much younger, around 15 kg lighter, sitting in a corner in a pair of dirty jeans, an insti T-shirt and of course, the standard Hawaii chappals. 

Though the second-best alternative to a poem is not presenting the stuff in bullet points, that is what I'm going to do now:

• Truly believe in: Every saint has a past; Every sinner has a future. That is the only way by which you can make sense of a country's topnotch engineering insti sending an invitation to one of its poor students (me). Yes, some 15 years flowed. But it happened. Just keep going till you find your zone. There is (sun)light at the end of the tunnel. Caution: I am not trying to make it fashionable and say - college acads is not important, just enjoy, and endure the mess food. No. I am saying just the opposite. Graduate courses are very important - even if you don't like them. Get the basics right. The world will open up more easily for you.

• (I will try to be 100% objective here...) At the function, all of us missed S.Nagarajan, an extraordinary alum of BITS-Pilani, and my brother. He belonged to the 1996-2002 batch of EEE. You just have to browse through the latest UPSC Annual Report to realise that when it comes to the number of selections in the civil service exams, among the 200-odd institutions that produce civil servants, BITS-Pilani ranks 15 - much ahead of most of the IITs, and above all the NITs. But things were so different as early as a decade back. If you look at the pre-2005 batches, there is only a handful of BITS alum in the civil services. The GRE/CAT routes were the most popular ones in the campus. But a (almost) ten-pointer fighting it out, and finally achieving the unimaginable All India Rank One in 2005 and entering the system - made many others just step aside for a moment and take a close look at bureaucracy as a career option. As the cliche goes, the rest is history...Now there are more than 70 civil servants from BITS, and most of them are from 2007-batch downwards. There have been many top rankers too. And I'm not trying to be humble here.

• I can now empathise with those irritating men and women in the auditoriums and cinema theatres, who could not resist talking, murmuring and annoying others while the show was very much on. I was seated next to the guy, who was the students' union Prez during my times. A professional troupe was performing some old Hindi numbers. Mooz and me went non-stop; in spite of several scornful glances from an elderly lady seated in the front row. (I'm sorry madam.) Mooz was one of the most articulate students of the campus; way ahead of others. We were meeting after donkey's years. In the interim he had put all his energy in Pennywise Solutions, a tech startup; Recently it became a part of O&M. Cool. Amazing. Happy. I also fondly remember him as the senior who ragged me in the early days.

• One of our illustrious alum, Ms.Anu Hassan, had come down to compere the function. It was a great evening, and a real pleasure to interact with her. Best wishes to all her creative ventures, and hoping to see her more often in Tamil films.

• It was nice to take a walk around the campus around midnight. During our days, (...I hate that phrase), the gates of the girls' hostel closed at 11 PM; And there was no time limit for the boys. Here, the girls' gate closed at midnight, and boys had to be inside their rooms by 2 AM. (Yes, it is funny.) In the trademark BITS style the Hyd campus too has been generously created with a lot of open space. No corners cut. Interestingly, unlike the Goa campus where the hostels had been named tastelessly as 'A', 'B', etc. or something like that, in Hyd they have retained the names of the Pilani campus. Sounded nice. Relived. 

• Punctuating the campus, are the oldest rocks of the planet, the Archaen age granites and gneisses. The way the rocks have been left to merge with the overall architectural layout of the campus is just beautiful, thoughtful too.

• A few students were hanging out in the audi, clicking snaps with the likes of 5D, 60D, etc. They were a part of Dopy (Department of Photography), that used to cover the events even during our days. It used to be fun, we did not have professional photographers, Dopy guys managed the photo coverage of most events. Soon after the functions, Dopy will have the photos displayed and you can place order for your snaps. In about 3-4 days you will find the copies neatly placed inside an envelope and seamlessly slipped under your room door. No cash payment hassles, it will get added to your mess bill. Now, this Dopy guy says I could download the photos from Google Drive. I was not a part of Dopy, I belonged to the Photog Club that did not have the mandate to cover the events. Photog was there - just for the heck of it.

• The Pilani DNA of single room occupancy and 0% attendance has been preserved in Hyd too. 

• As one of my friends pointed out during the walk, it looks like there is an itching need for a dozen or two road-side benches in the campus. During the day the guys hang out in places like canteen, computer centre, library, corridors, etc. but much after the sunset many of the students seem to prefer the roads and pavements. They just sit bang on the roads in circles that looked like some outdoor antakshari program. Groups of different sizes lie scattered all over the campus roads, something resembling a dharna. It was a cool thing too; sitting on the road and chatting the entire night out. But I'm sure tar and Hyd summer do not gel well. Liberal helping of white marble benches would be just fine. Any sponsors?

• It was refreshing to across two students aspiring for a career in politics. Best wishes guys! 

• The event was to celebrate the 10th Foundation Day of the campus, and also to felicitate the BITSian-civil servants. Mr.BVR Mohan Reddy, the founder-MD of Cyient, and former Chairman-NASSCOM, was the Chief Guest of the function. Among others, a 1975-batch IAS officer-alum, Mr.Chandramouli, graced the occasion. Incidentally, it was also the farewell day of around 400 graduating students. 

• It was also a week prior to the start of the dreaded Compre (semester exams). ANC (All Night Canteen) was booming. 

I also got one more thing to add, when you have a really, really early morning flight to catch at an airport that is miles and miles away - better have someone to give a wake up call to the cab driver.