You are a father when...

Those sleepless nights all your friends 

had foretold, had warned - have arrived

so soon, so suddenly.

You post a status photo saying 

my cute angel or lion prince 

my bundle of joy.

Lots of lost well wishers call

bevy of friends line-up with gifts

including baby-oil and cash.

You tactfully find reasons to escape 

the trauma  the mom-baby combo undergo 

during the initial weeks.

Sanitisers, cough syrup bottles, vitamin drops,

indigenous magic potions and lots of 

free advice embrace you.

You can stop feeling bad when

kid cricketers down the lane shout - 

uncle, go that way.

Near and dear ones keep asking 

whens the party? and you confidently

keep saying - very soon.

Among many other things you took

for granted, you truly realise what

it means by - privacy.

Travel, cinemas, CCD, dinners, friends' place, 

shopping, gym, farewells, in general outing,  

all get messy over-night.

You acknowledge the fleeting lives of

toys, baby clothing, glassware, and surely

the recently bought iphone.

Vaccination, immunisation, constipation, consultation, injection, indigestion,

and of course frustration, become additions

to your stagnant vocabulary.

You frequently encounter and you start

mechanically answering curious, innocuous items like - 

whats the birth weight?

Diapers, medicines, toys, specialist doctor fees,

school donation and summer camps make

your nights more sleepless.

Plenty of thumb-rules eagerly greet you

morning-born babies won't sleep at nights

dad-like girls bring luck.

Quickly you realise sleep deprivation was

not as bad as you thought 

but yes, you hallucinate.

You start justifying lethargy, missed calls,

laziness, indulgence, splurging and party proxies

quickly with baby blues.

Distantly-related, long forgotten, single, old ladies 

grab your attention, you tell them - 

please join our home.

You try solving the numerology jig-saw

with permutations starting with Shui, Khru

and ending with .aijh

Sleep, food, water, leisure and time 

you presumed to be your birthright

start laughing at you.

Your Indian family tight-rope walk show

gets tighter, one more entry to 

the fragile, active ecosystem.

People congratulate you on becoming a

proud dad, down under you wonder

what's going to happen.

But after a hard day's labour

you sit back, feel plain happy 

- my baby, my love.