Insect side

Close your eyes for a moment and quickly think of an insect.
Done?

Recently, I watched a 3-D movie at a science museum. When one of the butterflies came fluttering out of the screen towards me, I could only fondly recollect MDK (My Dear Kuttichattan, 1984) I had seen on a big screen more than three decades ago. Some evergreen (3-D) memories: the slipping red cherry from the cup-ice cream that you thought you almost caught, dancing skeleton in the classroom and colourful balloons playing in the sky. Today I can only sit in awe of the vision that the MDK creators had. Those were the times we were coming to terms with the world of mindless masala movies struggling with basic camera tricks, and here was a man with guts and energy to make and release a regional 3-D movie. Vision. Hats off! 


Coming to the science museum, though there were some butterflies and attractive flowers, the movie was on, hold your breath.. insects. Title: Bugs. Personally I like insects (I am not an entomaniac, btw) or at least I do not hate them. But as expected, most of the audience twitched and some even conveniently removed the 3-D glasses - when a mantis caught hold of a housefly-type insect and - pulled out its well-formed head with compound eyes et al, and clumsily munched it, while the headless fly-body was still trying to release itself and somehow perform its flight to freedom. 

And it was not the only such scene. There was this robust green lizard that caught a grasshopper-type insect with its sticky tongue; there was this group of tens of insect eggs, yellowish in colour, translucent,  and (in slo mo and in 3-D) the eggs were getting hatched one by one and a form of larva was coming out of each one of them; the larvae did not fall off; they were holding on to the leaf that had the eggs by a shiny, fine streak of thread made of glue. 

Again, many took off their glasses. 

Perhaps we are hardwired to hate insects or perhaps it has been taught when we were running around in diapers. Do we fear insects? Or is it just that they are repulsive to look at? Now coming to the question, what did you see when you closed your eyes? Most of us would have seen one of these - mosquito, housefly or cockroach. (Some, bedbugs too.) I too hate these forms, but there are millions of other insect species,  that include the 'beautiful' ones like butterfly, honey bee, ladybird, damselfly, pullayar ant, etc.

I think too may things are at work here - our notion of 'beauty', our preference for bright colours and attractive patterns, the first insect that stung the caveman, the locust swarm that ate away our crops, mosquito - the deadly household partner, cockroach - the ruler of the dark nights, and so on. But whatever be the reason, it is better to start liking every scene of Bugs, if not for anything else, at least for the simple reason that - the insects form the majority in our planet. It is said the number of such creatures in just one square mile of the Amazon forests is more than the total number of human heads on our planet. And in a democracy, even a fool would like to be on the winning side.

Recommended viewing:
  • Karnan (Tamil, 1964) 
  • Silence of the Lambs (Eng, 1991)
  • Eega (Telugu, 2012)
  • The Lord of the Rings 3 (Eng, 2003)
  • I (Tamil, 2015)
  • Memories of Murder (Korean, 2003)

(PS: On my office desk I have a mummified shiny, green beetle that a good friend had gifted me.)

Ten years a (civil) servant

It all began in Aug 2007. Now I'm in a middle management role which is basically like that of a home maker - no one notices your work, but things could collapse if you weren't around. The peculiarities of the work profile - you do not have much original work to handle, your job is to create an enabling environment to empower your team to deliver extraordinary results within the known limitations of time and resources but you are answerable to many. Basically, others job is your job. I keep exchanging notes with my friends in private organisations, and I draw comfort from the fact that even in those concerns the middle managers are always on the edge. 

It has been ten years with the government for me. Number 10 looks nice, and but for the looks there is nothing very special about 10, may be 9 or 11 is equally worthy, equally special. But 10 is ten; it at least deserves a pause, and an intense stare, if not a fully-blown celebration. On this day, exactly ten years back, I got my first government salary. (Btw, before we forget, if you ask any member from the great Indian middle class to pick up between a Nobel and a government pay cheque, they would choose the latter without blinking.) It was Mussourie, and the pay was around Rs.15,000. It was cold and shocking; especially as I had got slightly used to corporate perks and pay by that time. Soon the Sixth CPC (Central Pay Commission) turned its benevolent grace towards us; Out of the Rs.18,060 Crores of CPC arrear pay outflow for the government (2008-09), some money flowed into my account too. There were smiles all over the country, and it lasted for a good 4-5 years.

Mussourie days were like the first-time college hostel life for many. Amidst the grueling schedule of lectures and more lectures designed to make you sit at one place for about 70-90 minutes, you had a lot of time for trekking (between classrooms-hostel-mess), noodles, knotting up your ties, unending chats, and the sort. Like in any other college, you found your best buddies here too; and when you chance upon any of them now after a zillion years, the first mutual opening line is 'You look the same!' another class variant 'You have not changed in the... since then!'. I think it is one of the basic survival instincts that is hardcoded in the soft tissue between the ears. No one wants to hear: 'You look so worn out.' (Variants: Are you having any serious condition? How could you make such a mess out of your life? What have you been smoking? You are too bloated to be a non-diabetic., so on.) But the customary mutual line definitely has so much warmth, genuine care and green memories. You feel you belong. Though you may have been in touch with only a handful of your buddies over the past decade, you have a strong feeling that you are never alone - there is an army (civilian) for you. Thanks to the recent Whatsapp groups, you are really never alone, in fact, to the point of feeling - Do I belong here? Sadly in one of the Groups (where I am not the Admin), the unread messages has exceeded 1,100.

Over the decade some of my friends have reached great heights in their professional lives, and many of them are not very far behind. There are public service innovators, social media activists, marathoners, PM/CM award winners, artists, Ivy League educated, treaty negotiators, Page 3 personalities, mavericks, world class sportsmen, TedX regulars, award-winning photographers, unsung heroes, karma yogis, and many more. It is truly kaleidoscopic, and even the geographies come in a myriad hues. Before getting into this beautiful space, I have not interacted much with say, someone from Haryana or Manipur. (Though, to reach my grad college every time I had to cross Haryana border twice.) But now it is very normal, you don't even feel it. And wherever you go, you have a friend, you have a place. And I think this is the primary defining feature of my professional career.

The job takes you to many exotic and glorious destinations, like Nathu La, Kaziranga, the very heart of Delhi - the Parliament of India, Ghastoli, and many more. But we also land up in towns like Nagpur. Though the place is like the nerve centre of India, beyond the walls of the Academy it is a different planet. Nagpur summers, like the oranges there, are world famous. But monsoons give a heavenly charm to the place, and also to our Academy campus. If Mussourie days were a like adolescent crush that is full of bloodred energy and your heart keeps yearning for more of it, Nagpur is like a mature love which takes time and you are also sure it is not going to leave you any soon. By the time the 18-month training gets over, even while walking past a dhobi's bundle thrown in the hostel corridor, you can casually say which shirt belongs to whom, and which saree has to go where, and still maintain a purposeful conversation with the person walking alongside. I mean, it was actually a long stint. It is said only death and taxes are certain, but how about certain death by taxation? Outside the classes, and within the walls of the institute, there were wonders like - swimming pool, auditorium, buzzing sports events, and my lover's room (slightly outdated word - lover; but it has a magic to it). Academy was also the place where I travelled deeper into the woods of world cinema. I remember each and every one of them, and what impressed me the most was Mongol.

Towards the end of the training days, the ready punchline of our affable faculty was, 'You are no more in the safe zone of a harbour... you are about to set sailing.. there will be storm, there will be blue whale (sea creature), deadly torpedoes, ..' (Things like that.) We were no more officer trainees, but full-fledged officers in 'field'. (... a term that you get to hear very often in your career.) Soon after the postings, we realise we are indeed in the turbulent ocean. For every single thing, from accommodation to the daily bread, you have to plan, design, implement and continuously improve. (May be, it is called life.) You did not have the luxury of an officers' mess anymore, there was no institute laundry man, housekeeping people weren't there.. and more importantly hot tea was not delivered to you in the early mornings. Everything has to be put in place by yourself. And that demands commitment, focus, and persistence.

Time rolls, and you get used to the 'government culture'. You are exposed to very innovative methods to waste time. Also, you see the extraordinary potential and authority you possess to serve others. You get to know what is important is not exactly what is said or written, but how are you going to interpret it. Example (real world inspired): 'The oldest member will light the lamp'. Then you see a young lad coming up. You are surprised. But he coolly says, 'I am the oldest man (seniority-wise) here', and does what he wants. But also, you get to know if you have the right attitude to serve, even within the normal boundaries of narrow thoughts and solidified hierarchy, sky is the limit.

Suddenly, one fine evening, I find myself selected for a Mid Career Training Prog. at IIM-L. What? MID-career? MID?? Sleepless nights followed before I could clearly resolve my internal spatio-temporal conflicts, by way of suppression. Then I say to myself, you are no more the same person who wandered in the streets of Old Rajinder Nagar, New Delhi in hawai chappals in search of a photostat guy who can quickly make a copy of the latest GS notes for you that is perhaps going to help you clear a very tough three-stage exam. That was more than ten years back. 

Just in case I had missed the glaring reality that I am a seasoned, decade-old bureaucrat now,  there was this timely toll of the Seventh CPC, and it was loud and pleasant. 

The Queen’s Gambit (Review)

(Glad that my review got published in Readers Write  - Thank you so much Baradwaj Rangan! ) Streaming on Netflix and consisting of seven epi...